Homeowner Blues
From Tenants Talk 7
The relationship between my mother and I has, at times, been strained but only recently settled into lukewarm waters. The time between our correspondences increased gradually until we fell into rhythm. After a period of inactivity she calls to give me updates, and in return I do the same. At this point in our relationship she has been met with disappointment regarding my disinterest in marriage and children. Naturally, with those items dead in the water, the only conversational avenue left after reciting our updates is homeownership.
The conversation always ends in the same place, despite it not being the first instance that the topic comes up. Everytime, I say that I have no wish to own a home, yet this pervasive issue has burrowed itself deep in the mind of my mother. I suppose she thinks this reflects poorly on her in the eyes of the rest of the family. Or maybe in her mind one part of the holy trinity is better than no part at all.
But she would hardly be alone in this matter. Marriage, having a child, and homeownership have become anchoring points in our lives. Homeownership, however, has a distinct character in that it is a necessity required by people to live (even more so in certain places where homelessness is policed aggressively). This fact alone is not enough to make it unique, its key aspect is that it has become a commodity, transforming this human need to a money transaction.
In this manner homeownership becomes the supposed solution to the societally created problem of homelessness. With this in mind it's easier to understand where my mom’s mind is when she says things like “Having a house gives you security” or “You need to be an owner to make your own decisions”. It’s her expressing the individual understanding that in order to secure your place in society you have to secure a physical place. This way they can fend off the dangers of capitalism. In other words, if you can’t beat them, join them.
The individual, in this case my mom, sees the power imbalance between the tenant and the landlord. She sees in homeownership a window to escape this imbalance. In other words, a way to acquire independence and security. This is often where the argument for homeownership leads. But the dream of material security in the form of homeownership, presupposes that this is the correct way of structuring our society.
Although often regarded as a symbol of individual freedom, homeownership is in reality an abandonment, a retreat into the self. It removes them from the larger tenant class and becomes a place where the lone owner can escape the realities of the world. Separated from the tenant neighbors and alone in a house most likely too large for the needs of an individual, the drive to fill rooms and garages with a myriad of items takes over. The dangerous cocktail of boredom and materialism changes the mind of the individual; escapism and fear of those outside the home take center stage.
Life becomes serving the house.
Beyond the escapism entrenched in homeowner life, a house serves another purpose, that of an investment. So to serve the house is to serve the investment.
The focus becomes on improving the house to keep its value even while the pitfalls we have seen time and time again stare us in the face. The housing crashes of the past and the countless stories of families being trapped in predatory mortgages don’t dissuade people. Outside of the realm of the market, a torrential storm can just as quickly vanish any improvements made to a house. Houses are subject to the forces of the market and the forces of nature.
Despite these risks, homeowners will make this gamble. This desire becomes so strong that it causes completely rational people to uproot their lives in order to secure a plot of land several hours away from the place where they made friends, ate their favorite meals, and built strong relationships during their formative years. Worst yet, that person doesn’t even truly own the house. With the bank holding all the cards, the payments have to keep coming in on time. The only possibility left is that the house can be sold at an indeterminate future date for an indeterminate amount, the “owner” crossing their fingers that it's higher than what they paid for it.
At this point some accept their fate, scraping by to pay the mortgage while their houses fall into disrepair. Others, like my mom, begin to see that it is not enough to own one house. You can own two or three or even a large multi family unit. Happy with this thought, as if they were the first person to think of it, the transition from tenant to homeowner to slumlord is soon complete.
This is the heart of the issue. In the attempt to attain material security, the consumption of the material is never enough. The desire for more, like a stomach that can’t be satiated, is ever consuming. This transforms the individual into the thing that they once wanted to get away from: the landlord.
When I last talked to my mom about this, she said that I’ve changed. She said she felt sad that I don’t have a place of my own. I find it sad that she sees no other alternative to the difficulties of renting than to withdraw into isolation, and that she can’t envision living near other people as an enriching thing. I wish I could tell her how much she has changed since owning a home, how distrustful she has become of the people around her, and how much time she spends fussing over the house. Her community has shrunk down to the size of her lot, while mine has expanded to the size of the neighborhood and beyond.